20 and new to the dating scene. Daunting, to an introvert who has a barely-there social life and a spare invisibility cloak handy for the rare, must-do social event. (Just kidding. I have this unique ability to slip away from group discussions unnoticed and thus become “invisible”)
Getting back from my social anxiety and to the review.
The reason why I picked up this book as my first non-fiction book of 2019 is the first sentence of this review/discussion post. In my typical Hermione style, I decided to learn romance from a book. (Hey, Hermione tried to ease out her fears of flying by reading a book. I can be excused).
Of course, I didn’t have the unrealistic expectation of learning EVERYTHING about romance in a span of one week (the time I took to finish reading this book. But hey, I have other priorities now). But yes, it was the first book that came to my (panicked) mind the minute I decided to read more about human relationships of the ishq-wala type.
I’m glad I did, though. Let’s find out why.
“Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari (and Eric Klinenberg) is the author’s attempt at exploring how romance has evolved from the “girl next door” scene in the 1940s to “ssup? + unsolicited unholy pictures” scene of the current decade. This book is also peppered with a LOT of funny anecdotes and hilarious quips by Ansari, which serves to help the reader laugh (nervously) as they navigate through the rough waters that human, romantic relationships are. (*nervous grin hehehehehehe)
The book covers modern-day “woes” such as
1. “I texted him. He hasn’t replied yet. It’s been two weeks now. Should I move on? Or has he not looked at his phone even once in two weeks?”
2. *swiping through Tinder : WILL I EVER FIND Ms. RIGHT?
*a week later : OMG, THIS GIRL IS THE BEST FOR ME!
*a month later : Am I SURE I’m not gonna find ANYONE better than this girl????? She’s not the only girl in the world, RIGHT? (Cheers if you get the RiRi reference)
3. “I’m thinking of migrating abroad to check out a variety of dating scenes. Where should I fly to: Japan, Argentina, France? (side note: prepare to have your mind=blown with certain stats and trivia)”
4. “I hacked into my girlfriend’s social media and my heart is broken ‘coz she’s been flirting with FIVE other boys!!!!!!”
What I liked about this book is that EVERY conclusion presented in it is backed up by legit statistics and pie-chart thingies and researchers with super-real creds. And the nerd in me cottoned on to that math like horses to sugar cubes.
This book is designed in such a way that when the reader turns the last page of the book, he/she is equipped with a sound reasoning in terms of what-to-do-next in the intriguing world of modern romance. Which, in my opinion, is necessary because the stats and facts thrown at the reader introduces him/her to a broader set of thoughts about love and a deeper appreciation of it, which may confuse the reader about “Iss dil ka kya kare?” (Translation: What do I do about this heart/love?)
And, as mentioned above, love, in itself, is confusing and scary to navigate on your own.
I’d like to share a few snippets from this book that got me thinking:
“How many people do you need to see before you know you’ve found the best?” Schwartz asked.
“The answer is every damn person there is. How else do you know it’s the best? If you’re looking for the best, this is a recipe for complete misery.”
When I’ve really been in love with someone, it’s not because they looked a certain way or liked a certain TV show or a certain cuisine. It’s more because when I watched a certain TV show or ate a certain cuisine with them, it was the most fun thing ever.
Why? I couldn’t type out why.
Summarizing my experience of reading this book and my takeaways from it:
The book ended up confusing me a bit about how I should navigate my maiden journey through the stormy waters of Aphrodite’s blood (this is exactly why I don’t have a social life: I create metaphors that only a whackjob could come up with). But then it dawned on my one-carat-diamond-sized brain that THIS is how it feels like to navigate through love. Scary, weird, obscure to a novice. And THIS is exactly what being love is all about: being imperfect and being okay with it and being okay with someone else’s imperfections and someone else being okay with your imperfections. See, I may have summed up love incorrectly here. But there’s probably one (or more than one. The world is certainly full of whackjobs) person out there to whom this sentence would seem like the most perfect thing in the history of literature (except Shakespeare, because he’s the gold). And love is all about finding that other person(s)/whackjob(s).
And as I wrap up this review, I want to leave you with the same words used by Ansari to wrap up the last chapter of “Modern Romance”. (Which you will not understand entirely right now, unless you go buy a copy for yourself RIGHT NOW)
And by best of luck, I mean I hope that one day you’ll meet someone amazing, text them a beautiful message, take them to a monster truck rally, and then hopefully at some point, after a bowl of delicious ramen, make love to them in a Jurassic Park – themed love hotel in Japan.
~Amateur-Reviewer
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