Group by Christie Tate is a larger-than-life memoir that makes you question: how can so much happen to a person, and can they still, then, have a happily-ever-after ending?
In her debut memoir, lawyer and writer Christie Tate shares her experience of group therapy. It’s an unconventional form of group therapy: there are no requirements for confidentiality among members, and the members are to disclose each and every aspect of their life weekly during the 90 minutes session. While this seemed outlandish and an absolute scary way of therapy, the process and the end results changed my opinion about it.
At the start of the book, we find out that Christie is a valedictorian at her law college and suffers from bulimia. One day, when she was driving around Chicago, she started having vivid suicidal ideation, which seemed uncharacteristic of her. But there was a reason for it: she felt loneliness stemming from the lack of a romantic relationship in her life. 26 and feeling like a loser about love, Christie goes to her friend’s house for dinner one day, where she is introduced to the man who would change her life: Dr. Rosen. And group therapy.
While initially hesitant about the scarily candid nature of the discussions at group therapy, Christie starts learning the basics. Like, feelings have only two syllables, and hence ‘defensive’ is not a feeling. But ‘ashamed’ is. Crossing your legs while sitting in a circle means you’re not open to sharing, you’re hiding something. And the group is meant for you to share every tid-bit of everything: friendship, family, sex, dating, romance. And when the discussion in the group continues in the book, we find out that everything also includes venting about the therapist and other group members.
Meeting by meeting, hour by hour, Christie uncovers the buried aspects of her past. She speaks about them, bawls about them and tears up teddy bears in anguish. She is assigned members of the group to call for 1. to report the food she’s had during the day 2. to get a daily affirmation to keep going in life. She climbs up the ladder of love, urged on by group members. And when she eventually falls down, the group members are there to catch her and hold her when she’s crying.
This book gives you a reader a front-row seat to the relatively lesser explored form of therapy in India – group therapy. It’s a read that will keep you up all night to find out what happens to Christie in the end. After all, who doesn’t love the journey towards a romantic goal?
(Spoiler alert) This book gave me a lot of food for thought.
- The usefulness of the lack of confidentiality and the power that secrets tend to have on us: In the group therapy session I attended, we signed a consent form stating that we would not disclose information shared in this group to non-members, and that got me thinking: how would I even know that for sure? How could I trust it?
- The hidden baggage we all carry from one relationship to another: Sometimes the baggage is invisible. Sometimes it’s our own baggage, sometimes it’s our partners’ baggage. It takes an effort to get rid of the baggage. Sometimes it’s not in our control. Sometimes it is.
- It takes a different skill set to be successful in relationships versus being successful in academics / work: the two are mutually exclusive. (Spoiler alert end)
I’m gonna stop giving spoilers about this book as this book is a total must-read for anyone suffering from eating disorders, depression or for anyone attending one-on-one therapy or group therapy.
Also, once you’re done reading this book, check out the author’s post in the Modern Love section in the New York Times which is a perfect epilogue for the book.
Please do check the following trigger warnings before you buy your copy of the book (expected publication: 7th October 2020): Eating disorder, Mental Illness, Body Shaming, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts (Thank you StoryGraph Beta for the first-ever Content Warning tags in book reviews!)
Thank you Simon & Schuster UK and NetGalley for an e-ARC of this book!
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